Monday Morning in Dayton
I cannot think of anything that happened on Tuesday so my only conclusion can be that nothing happened on Tuesday at all. Twas a negative void in all the universe in which nothing occurred and some vast intergalactic being gained so so many days from living creatures that he added onto his own life certain immortality. This unknown supreme being stole everyone’s Tuesday and thanks to it shall eventually out live the universe itself. His curse shall be to sit alone and bored in the leftovers of all that was; cosmic stew and space decay shall stain his sneakers a nasty yellow brown.
Yes I do believe my Tuesday was a fairly uneventful night at home. Those do happen from time to time, expect more as I duly return to school so so very soon.
Monday I had woken up in good old Huber Heights in my old bed in my old room. Only It didn’t feel like my room anymore and it was missing my pillow and Teddy. Anyway I met up with Swanky for old times sake before she went in to work. We talked and chilled and she did my nails. Mario mushrooms. It’s nice to see Swanky. I really miss her house being just down the street. I was able to just go over there any time I needed to escape and I now realize how very much I took that for granted all these years. I miss Papa and Bodhi. I miss Alex and of-fucking-course I miss Swanky Swank J-Rabbit!
J-Rabbit Swanky my best friend for the last-I dunno four years? She is moving away. Like I think I said in a previous post there is great change in these waters. The ripple effect in the universe has set in motion immense change spiraling out all around me and the people I know. I am by no means laying claim of this big tidal wave that breaks the routine, I am simply admitting that I am one within the wave and that I do in fact see some of my good friends catching their own currents and riding off to wherever they may go.
So she admitted to me that she feels she never gave sir Doube a genuine chance. I knowing their history demanded a little better than that and she herself said that if it weren’t for the distance things would have turned out very different. That and she genuinely needs change in her life. Dear Swank has been in a bit of a rut for a while. Maybe not a rut but a pattern, a running in circles perhaps, a repetition that can’t help itself. I really genuinely truly hope the best for her and I really want to see her happy. I don’t know if this is the true answer to her problems but I suspect it could possibly help therefore I support.
I had wanted to meet T-Fish for coffee this Monday oh Monday. I genuinely miss that girl and I feel we are drifting apart very fast. I feel that way towards all my Huber friends. It’s not fair though, it’s not like my big friend circle is being replaced by a new big crew who fits all the same roles and needs of occasion. Sure I have some friends out here but not nearly as many and not ones I trust quite yet, not the same, not even similar.
Anyway things are genuinely improving for me now. I just need to buckle down to get through this hard part. This hard lonely transition the complete and total broke state of being broke. I know I’ll get some money, I know I’ll develop a group of friends and I know I’ll somehow manage to balance all this massive pile of shit I hadn’t realized I was meant to carry.
T-Fish’s mom was in town so we were not able to meet for coffee. They’d gone to a casino actually.
I drove back to Cbus once again forgetting some stupid things in Dayton I meant to remember.