There are certain subjects in conversation that I know to avoid. Those being politics and religion. If someone directly asks me about either subject I’ll roll my eyes and tell them honestly; you don’t want to open that can of worms. My view of politics isn’t the most popular but it’s heard of, I just hate how into it some people get. Religion is the place where I’m sure I’m a minority. Even within my own family I’m sorta on my own for thinking as I do. Human beings have a right to decided for themselves how they chose to look at the world. We must each develop our own philosophy and understand our own perceived world as such.
Atoms are the basic element of everything. Everything is made of atoms. The carpet under your feet is made of atoms, the walls of your house, the TV, books, bread, grass, trees, cats, your neighbor and the president. All things, big little in-between, are made up of this same tiny thing. This little atom is all anything is really. And yet the arrangement makes all things different. The carpet does not cry out in pain each time you walk across the floor. How amazing is it that a rock and a living creature that eats, sleeps, dreams and trys are made from the same base building block that is an atom. An atom that is made up of protons, electrons, and neutrons. These little things that orbit around a nucleus just like our planet orbits the sun. And these protons and electrons they contain a charge. A little force of energy, an amazing potential. We all contain these charges, even rocks. The idea that some of us can walk around, eat, sleep, think and create is amazing. It’s cool as shit to be a living creature on this planet. Think about all the quiet space around us. So many planets that are unable to support life.
Just be grateful for the awesomeness of being an intelligent life-form and be equally respectful to other living creatures we share this planet with. Dogs and cats can feel pain, boredom and love just as humans do. All the creatures who can eat and breath are just as amazing as we are for merely existing and we need to treat them that way. I choose to live with some degree of respect for all living creatures. All things on earth have just as much right to be here as I do. All things are made of the same fundamental ingredients as me. I chose to consider myself a part of this world and love the world in return.
Going back to protons and electrons and that spark of negative or positive energy; this energy is something that can be found in everything. This energy is what connects us all. Being us all connected I chose to put out good when I can and I try to take charge of my own existence with positive energy. I might not suddenly have a string of amazingly good luck, but I see the world in a more positive light. My attitude is a little bit brighter and my self confidence has gone up. Really so much in our lives is determined by self confidence. If you believe you can you’ll at least try and trying is always the first and most important step.
It is a hard balance; to force yourself to see and appreciate all the good and hidden spectacle around you while still pushing forward your own existence toward a goal or at least full potential. But you can do it.
I choose to follow a Buddhist lifestyle. I don’t do a fantastic job but it’s the closest thing I’ll ever have to a religion. I like Hinduism, the idea of Brahmin and Nirvana is basically the same principles of Buddhism. There is a quote that was from Brahmin I think, but I’ll reword it as such; we as human beings are like a single drop if rain in all the ocean… yes exactly. How could I ever believe anything else? Well I could believe nothing, but I’d rather spend my time thinking happy thoughts. I’d rather focus on my mental attitude and outlook on life which is at least something I may be able to change. Anything beyond confines of your own skull will always be outside your complete control.
I’m not concerned all those Jesus-like glorifying stories about Siddhartha. I only care about living a simple peaceful, happy, and positive life while working toward my goals. I want to be happy simply to be doing, no big pressure of a larger goal bearing me down. Such larger goals are held in mind and it’s a good possibility but I want to hold on to nothing and always be ready for opportunity. I have said a few times before that I wish to be like a breeze in and out of people’s lives. I’ll admit perhaps I should seek stability. Stagnation seems like death but I knew a man once who always said “you start dying the minuet your born,” he’s dead now ironically.
It’s strange how at one point in life you can feel so close to your friends or certain family members and then later on be speaking with them and suddenly feel so distant. And it’s not like anything had come between you but maybe sometimes you realize that you are growing and your not quite the same combination you were before. Or maybe you’ve both grown but differently, or maybe you weren’t as close as you thought from the beginning. And finally you realize that people you thought were your friends were actually way better friends than you’d realized. That they will be happy for you and that they wish to know you, to retain a connection with you, for years to come.
I’ve been feeling sentimental about those I leave behind in Dayton. I keep telling people I’m going to come back and visit twice a month, as long as my car doesn’t die, and then you can visit me. I really hope to maintain friendships with some of the best people I know. Maybe I can buy beer pong table. Games are fun and life is short. Even joy every breath because you won’t always be able to inhale.
Swanky, T-Fish, Angel, Motorcycle, Dr. Ok, Sully, even Care, Kuddle, Grunge and Lady. And of course Boon. I love all your faces and I appreciate your existence. I’m going to miss the shit out of you people.