And so I must tell you about that Tuesday. May you learn some lessons as I did that night.
It was cold, but actually kinda warm considering it’s December, Tuesday. Exactly one week until Christmas, that motherfucking Tuesday.
So let us begin at the beginning…
Taqueria Mexicana in Dayton Ohio is one of me and my boyfriends absolute favorite spots. The food is fantastic, delicious and affordable. They serve tacos with fresh cilantro and lime. The meat is marinated and seasoned to perfection. The two outer layers of the taco shell are soft while not overpowering.
And Taqueria Mixteca is opening a second restaurant in the boyfriends town of Trotwood. This grand opening was set to feature full menu (Even Saturday only goat soup, one of my faves. Spicy sour and cilantro with unusual meat, I’m in heaven.) and a mariachi band! Needless to say we had plans to go.
But the boyfriend got sick and he texted me to say such plans were off. I tried to be understanding as I swallowed my disappointment whole like the delicious gulp of goat soup I was not to receive. A few hours later I suddenly get a text from Badtz who lives in Columbus. She is coming to town and she wants to go out tonight. I had no work the following morning and really nothing else to do so I was down.
We met ironically at Taqueria Mexicana’s Dayton location. Badtz gave me half of her burrito and It was good as Taqueria’s usual standard. We talked for a bit and then drove down to the Oregon District.
“Let’s pregame.” Badtz said and I was lured into her car by a big bag of cheap wine. I do like the drink and I was thinking that the buzz would last a few hours and wear off by the time the bars close and I need to drive home. In the car we take turns lifting up and drinking from the wine. (I have had a drink from a big bag of wine before.) But I underestimated the strength of this stuff. As we rambled and drank things got increasingly manic. Instead of taking sips and passing I was gulping and then chugging as she cheered me on. The classic “Chug chug chug!” reminds me I’m a college student and I’m allowed to let lose right? The conversations go all over the map and by the time I step out of the car I’m wearing her big fuzzy black cat hat, I stumble forward on my feet suddenly realizing how very drunk I am.
We walk to Blind Bobs. They are having a charity event for a girl Badtz knew in high school who’d died recently. My memories of bobs are very limited for the wine is hitting me hard. I know that Badtz wanted to donate money for the cause so she threw it in the toys for tots bin. We may have been equally drunk at that point. I’m not really sure. My memories are hazy to say the least.
We end up at another local bar (that shall remain unnamed) but I don’t remember walking there. The interior of this place is cool and we must have stumbled in like drunken street rats. A friend of mine is there with his holl-a-hoop. I vaguely remember talking to him.
I remember being in the bathroom. I remember puking in the sink. I remember looking in the mirror. I remember Badtz handing me a blue drink and drinking it. I remember going out to the dance floor where Badtz is dancing but I’m to drunk to do much more than a Charlie Brown up and down bob.
I think someone told us to leave so I count this as my first time being kicked out of a club. I remember walking down a seemingly deserted Dayton street. It is late I suppose. Badtz is leading and I think at some point during this walk is when I fell. She is leading us through kinda bad neighborhood to where her boyfriend lives. He will let us crash and be cool, but we must get there first.
A guy appeared walking behind us. At first I drunkenly and stupidly thought we knew him. Badtz who was possibly less drunk and probably more street smart than me screamed at him and encouraged us to walk ahead much faster.
I noticed the lights reflected on the wall of a building. Red and blue like a concerts special effects. Blinking and moving. Dancing colors I recognized. “Cops” I has said, and suddenly there he was standing before me, a Dayton police officer.
I look to my right and there is a cop car parked immediately next to us on the road. How the hell had we not noticed this? A second cop walks out.
They asked us questions and I drunkenly tried to answer to the best of my abilities. I remember one cop said to me in an accusatory tone “I heard you have a knife.” I literally laughed in his face and said no offering him my purse. I told my cop about the guy following us. I might have even asked him for a ride home I don’t remember. Badtz might have got the mean cop. She ended up crying.
They put our purses in the trunk and instructed us to get in the back seat.
Were we about to spend the night in jail for public intoxication?
Badtz was freaking out so I told her everything was going to be ok. I told her the cops were doing us a favor and taking us to my house. I told her they were saving us from the creepy dude following us.
Thank goodness I was right.
They pull up to my house and one of the cops knocks on my front door. I wait anxiously. He’s going to tell my mom I’ve been out running around. Like a teenager picked up for shop-lifitng. And my mother will scream at me and I’ll never live it down for as long as I live.
I wait holding my breath.
No one answered. YES! So they return us our purses. It probably takes me a good twenty minuets to unlock the front door but eventually it happens and we step inside to my warm house wonderful sanctuary. My room is a mess but I have a fold out seat thingy for Badtz to sleep on. I crawl into my familiar top bed bunk (bottom bunk was removed years ago for space saving purposes) and fall asleep immediately.
Upon waking we discover that I had gotten puke on Badtz black fuzzy cat hat, I had smeared orange face paint all over my face, was wearing four of Badtz blue hair extensions, my knees were all bruised and my one good pair of jeans now had a hole in the knee.
Both of us feeling hung over and the mission of finding a way back to our cars ahead of us I boiled four eggs and called it breakfast.