Super Sober Spring Break Day Four (Karaoke Birthday)

Super Sober Spring Break
Day four Monday

I sit here next to a yellow binder. On this binder carved into the cover in thick ball point pen reads the words Motherf-kin Math. Somebody had scribbled over the curse word and it wasn’t me.

My two cats are running around the living room fighting. The big one plays to rough sometimes but he stops the second she screams uncle.

Ok so your wondering about Monday?

Well I spent my morning eating food, petting cats, and writing the Saturday/Sunday blog. Actually I spent most of my morning after sleeping in then I got on Facebook and Reddit. My mom came home for lunch and I shut down my laptop although she spent this hour break in her bedroom. I played with Meekerz making her race around the coffee table after a bell on fuzzy string. She reached some impressive new speeds. I think perhaps she’s accepting that she’ll never overpower the other cats. And maybe she’s realizing in turn that she is way more agile and fast than then.

After my mom left I got ready to shower. My two year old cat, the male, was sitting on my bed watching me search for clothes. I couldn’t help but notice that he’d put on a little weight.

“Hims getting chubby, he’s got a tummy, a little flubby?” I sang this directly to that male cat sitting on my top bunk bed. “Hims getting tubby, hims kinda chubby, my little bubby, meow-meow-meow.” Upon finishing the song I reached up to pet this calm appearing male cat. Suddenly his paws fly and he is attacking my arm and biting. I play-fight back with him until his scratches draw blood. When I pull away his mouth is hanging open and his eyes read serious anger.

“I’m sorry I called you fat Zell-Kitty,” I reach my hand tentatively forward. “Mr. Man-Cat.” I attempt a face pet and he very stiffly accepts. Taking that as forgiveness I continue forth with my shower. Both cats barge into the bathroom at different points then suddenly they were fighting which caused the door to fly way wide open. That easily could have been a show for the mailman.

“Seriously this has got to stop!” I yell at the two cats in the hallway. I have conditioner in my hair as I use the nights pajama pants to block the door closed from the inside.

I finish my shower thinking that had worked until I pull back the plastic curtain. There sits little Meerkerz. She is literally three inches from the bathtub looking up at me with the curiosity of a three year old child. I know it’s silly to cover yourself in front of an animal but trained instincts die hard.

It’s a curlers in the hair day which Meekerz also watches with great interest.

I spend the afternoon working on Melancholy Evil Poptart. It takes longer than I anticipated. I’m disappointed to only finish two. This was meant to be my-projects-Monday. Today I’m set to work ahead on school crap hence the math notebook glaring at me from my right.

I visit Swanky for an hour or two. My hair remains in curlers that entire visit. She’s interested in some sort of body wrap that people pay upwards to $60 for at a salon.

“We can recreate this with lotion and saran wrap,” she tells me. I openly tell her that this does not make logical sense to me and I do not think it will work. She insists on trying anyway so next thing I know I am pulling saran wrap tight around her stomach as she spins slowly in place. We both laugh about this as it’s happening. Swanky is entering into her own self improvement kick one focused purely on diet and self image.

Anyway she has to sit there in that for an hour. She complains about it being slimy periodically.

I go home to get ready. The Other had invited many people out to the bar. This Monday was in fact her 21st birthday. She had invited Boon and I amongst her Other other friends.

It’s One Eyed Jacks in Fairborn. I hadn’t realized from the FB invite that it was Karaoke night but I should have suspected. The Other is a good singer and she goes to a lot of Karaoke.

Boone and I get some Chipotle for dinner first. In the car ride to the bar he talks about having drinks at the office and being exhausted and not wanting to stay long. He mentioned making this a little hour appearance. There I sat in the passenger seat with my contacts in, makeup all done, nose chain full effect and my hair curled. I was quiet when he said that maybe I gave him a sad puppy look because then he said, “Well, we can see how it goes.”

The bar is small but decent. At first it seems like the only people showing up are Batman’s friends not hers. (Batman being her boyfriend.) I find myself stiff, nervous, grumpy and awkward as we sit in a booth and only two of the five start drinking. Twice I am asked if I am alright. “This is me sober.” I say bitterly.

We move tables and we play darts. It cost more money per player so I end up taking turns with Boone instead of getting to play for real. We do ok. Actually It ended up being really fun and helped me to feel more comfortable. Batman was throwing his darts in a rage yelling curse words with each toss. At one point he threw all three at once and still managed to get some points. He went on to win the game. To which I said he cheated using unfair angry Hulk-like powers. Afro Thunder, who is really cool and honestly made me feel more welcome at this event than the birthday girl herself, had admitted to only playing this game once before. He was terrible with at least half his shots not actually hitting the board. One had to duck for cover from lose darts bouncing off the wall. Of those shots that did hit the board he always managed to score points so by the end Boone and I were in last place. Batman broke at least three darts while Afro thunder broke two. I feel like I should describe to you this Afro Thunder… He has a beard, brown eyes, curly blond hair… and a wonderful round hobbit nose.

The game got me feeling better and I found myself wanting to make the most of this Monday.
“I’ll sing a song if you buy me a shot,” I said to Boone. He looked at me skeptically. “Just one shot seriously, won’t do anything.” He agreed and I got a shot of tequila.

Back at the table the birthday girl had got a friend of her own. This girl sang Kesha but I’ll give her credit for being bold. Up to that point people had been singing Broadway and Christian music I am not kidding.

I talk Boone into buying beer before I sign up to sing. Nobody gives me shit about failing to stay sober, but then again nobody really knew me that well so nobody was talking to me that much. I sat there and tried to convince myself that I was having fun, this was spring break dammit.

The boys had their own conversation while the girls who were friends had theirs and I sat to the side drinking and smiling like I was somehow involved in either.

My turn came up too soon. I zipped my Buzz Lightyear hoodie up all the way and pulled the hood down over my head. I sang quiet and even started nervously laughing at one point. I was reminded of going to karaoke with my own group of friends. Swanky would always cheer for me and they would all scream support when I started to lose it for sure. Instead I was up there all alone and had to pick it up and salvage the song all by myself. When it was done I only noticed the guy from the table behind us clapping.

I sat down and immediately poured a beer. At least I can say I did it. Boone tells me he’s proud of me. He at least realized how nervous I was to go up there. Some clapping might have been nice though. I thought the Birthday girl had wanted us all to sing, but she didn’t acknowledge my song what-so-ever. All she really cared about was getting her own attention. Well this was her birthday so that’s fair. I sucked up a smile and told her I’d raise a fuss to help her win the competition that was going on this night.

After she sang we all cheered and screamed and clapped furiously. I slammed my beer on the table which actually spilled a little.

“I split my beer for you,” I told her. She said OK. I don’t know if she didn’t understand why or if she just didn’t care.

Her only real competition in the competition came from a preppy college girl who brought with her a full support posse. It turns out three people were getting though so they both get to enter the next level of the battle anyway.

After the winners were announced Boone was ready to go. I finished his beer for him and put on my coat when suddenly one the preppy girls friends came up to me. She asked me about my nose chain and where I got it. She was being nice and genuine about it. I explained that I had made it. I told her I really liked the Indian jewelry that I had seen and got the idea from that. I even added that I got the bead kit for Christmas. I will admit that I was buzzed.

We left but before going home Boone bought me a speedway hotdog. I loaded it up with jalapenos and hot sauce because that’s what I do.

I’m still going to continue to attempt this sobriety thing. Monday night was for me an occasion of necessity in order to have a good time. Twas a trip on the road not a complete derail of the train.

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