Weaving past bored children and excited grandparents we go around the corner to be confronted by a giant smokey the bear. This bear is clearly hand made. Something in his face is off which gives you an uneasy feeling. Like who is this deformed imposter pretending to be smokey the bear?! The worst thing of all was the draw string mouth of obvious puppeteering. The voice of the bear was coming from the very obvious speaker near by. This was the most average voice of the most average guy I have ever heard. He must be an OSU student perhaps volunteering because it looks good on the resume. Anyway I was going to pose for a picture in front of the plastic monstrosity when the voice begins to directly address one of the children passing by.
How does Satan know his name? I wonder. I watch in horrified amusement with less shame than looking at a car accident. I have no idea where the voice is coming from, which I will give them credit for. However the receiving mic seemed to be faulty. The giant fake bear of evil and doom asked the child “What’s your favorite part of the fair so far Brian?” The little boy nervously began to answer and midway through speaking the bear yells “That’s great I liked that too!” Obviously the bear truly did not hear him. Smokey the bear is a liar and a fraud! I no longer desired any sort of photo with the creature. We moved on. The blind and deaf the beast was being fed information. The false profit knew nothing of our coming and going. It appeared that he only ate children’s souls so we easily escaped unharmed.
